A Life Unraveling
Jason came to me after being caught in adultery that had lasted his entire marriage. For fifteen years, he had been involved in more than a dozen affairs, with both women and men. He was also addicted to alcohol, video games, and pornography. On top of that, he had been diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder and was taking antidepressants.
Yet, Jason appeared successful. He had a good job, a nice home, several vehicles, and a reputation for being intelligent, resourceful, and charming.
He also claimed to be a Christian. He said he had been saved as a teenager, attended church almost every week, and could clearly explain the gospel.
When his wife discovered his adultery—after seeing messages pop up on his Apple Watch that he had left at home—Jason said he actually felt relieved. His sin had finally been exposed and brought into the light.
He came to counseling wanting to rebuild trust with his wife, restore his marriage, and get right with God. But his demeanor was cold. He seemed unmoved by the seriousness of his sin, the damage it caused, and the pain it brought to his wife.
Without saying it outright, Jason subtly blamed his sin on his parents, his past, his pain, and the pressures of life.
It’s true, he had suffered deeply. His childhood was hard, his body was in chronic pain, and his work and family responsibilities were overwhelming.
The Heart of the Problem
Considering all that I knew about Jason, it was of utmost importance that I help him see that his life had been centered on self. Jason worshiped Jason, not Jesus. As Romans 1:21 says, “Although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him.”
Instead of honoring God, Jason chased after his own desires for pleasure, comfort, peace, respect, and status. He looked to idols—like adultery, pornography, alcohol, and video games—to satisfy those desires.
He abused God’s good gifts for selfish gain rather than using them for God’s glory and the good of others. Not surprisingly, his inner world was filled with anxiety, anger, and despair.
My task was to help Jason see that all of this stemmed from self-worship.
Helping Jason Take Responsibility
Because Jason kept shifting blame to his past and circumstances, I focused on what he could control: his response.
I wanted him to see that, in Christ, he was responsible for how he responded to his parents, his pain, his past, and the pressures of life. My prayer was that this would lead to true conviction, genuine brokenness, and a humble turning to Christ for mercy and help.
From there, we could apply the gospel and give him practical steps to reorient his heart, renew his mind, and reform his behavior.
As I reflected on Scripture and Jason’s story, one theme stood out again and again: gratitude.
Scripture connects a lack of gratitude to addiction, adultery, anxiety, and suffering in profound ways. Gratitude became the central thread of Jason’s transformation.
What You Can and Cannot Control
Before focusing on gratitude, I had to remove every excuse. Jason couldn’t control his past, his parents, his pain, or the pressures of life. But he could control how he responded to them.
He couldn’t control his wife or how she would respond to any change he made. But again, he could control his own reactions.
No matter what happened around him, Jason was responsible to worship God, not himself. And gratitude would be the key.
If he learned to give thanks regarding every situation—past, present, or future—I believed three things would begin to happen:
- His mind would be renewed, trusting God’s wisdom instead of his own.
- His heart would be reoriented, treasuring God’s glory above his own.
- His behavior would be reformed, taking up God’s ways instead of his own.
Gratitude vs. Addiction
The Bible doesn’t describe addiction as a disease but as enslaving sin—lust and idolatry that take hold of the heart and often lead to physical dependence. At the root of addiction is pride and ingratitude toward God.
Romans 1:21–25 makes this clear:
21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.
24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.
When people stop honoring and thanking God, they begin to trust their own wisdom and chase after idols that never satisfy.
Pride/Ingratitude → Lust → Idolatry
But when someone turns from self-worship and begins to honor and thank God, the pattern reverses:
Humility/Gratitude → Love for God → Love for Others
As Jason battled addiction to alcohol, pornography, and video games, I reminded him again and again: his past and pain were not to blame. He was responsible.
So I gave him homework. He listed what he couldn’t control and his attitudes and actions in response to those things. Then he wrote down specific reasons to thank God, regardless of how he felt—because God’s goodness isn’t dependent on our feelings.
Over time, Jason’s eyes were opened. He saw his pride and idolatry for what they were. He grew broken over his sin and began to renew his mind, reorient his heart, and reform his behavior.
Gratitude vs. Adultery
Jason’s repeated adultery and sexual sin were also forms of addiction—rooted in pride, lust, and idolatry.
So, building upon Romans 1:21-25, we studied Ephesians 5:1–6, which continues to highlight the requirement and the power of gratitude.
1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. 5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
Verses 5–6 hit Jason hard. He realized his life had been full of sexual sin and greed. Though he claimed to be a Christian, he now saw how far he had wandered. God’s wrath is real, and Jason was done pretending.
He noticed the contrast between pride and lust (verses 3–4) and humility and love (verse 2).
And right there, in verse 4, the word “thanksgiving” caught his attention. Gratitude was once again at the heart of holiness.
As homework, Jason listed everything gratitude could overcome in this passage. He found gratitude could replace:
- Pride
- Sexual immorality
- Impurity
- Covetousness (idolatry)
- Filthiness
- Foolish talk
- Crude joking
One godly attitude expressed in love for God and others can drive out seven sinful attitudes and actions!
As Jason practiced thankfulness, he stopped making excuses and started confessing his sin. His heart softened. His repentance became visible and earnest (2 Corinthians 7:11). He grew eager to please God and began replacing sinful habits with godly ones.
Gratitude vs. Anxiety
As Jason grew in repentance and gratitude, his anxiety and depression began to improve—but we weren’t finished yet.
Like all of us, Jason longed for peace. But because he had spent years responding to pain sinfully, his inner life was filled with turmoil: anxiety, anger, and despair.
So we turned to Philippians 4:5–7, another passage that focuses on gratitude by connecting it to emotional distress:
5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
This passage promises two truths: God is near and God gives peace. But to experience that peace, we must respond with prayer and thanksgiving.
Here’s what Jason learned through our study:
- God’s nearness should destroy anxiety. If He is with us and for us, fear has no place.
- Anxiety imagines a godless future. It pictures a world where God won’t show up, so we try to take control.
- Gratitude remembers God’s faithfulness. It looks back at what God has done, building confidence for what He will do.
- The call for prayer reveals God’s kindness. He doesn’t shame our weakness but invites our requests.
- Peace is God’s promise. He may not change our circumstances, but He gives us Himself—His presence and peace.
As Jason saw this, he realized his anxiety, anger, and depression all grew from self-centeredness. His anxiety came from fearing he wouldn’t get his way. His anger came when his idols disappointed him. His despair came when self-worship failed him, as it always does.
But as he learned to thank God, trust His promises, and rest in His peace, Jason found freedom. Slowly but surely, gratitude changed everything.
A Life Transformed
Over eight months of counseling, I watched God radically reorient Jason’s life away from self and toward God and others. Gratitude was the truth God used to accomplish it.
When practiced sincerely, gratitude renews our minds, reorients our hearts, and reforms our behavior. It teaches us to trust God’s wisdom, treasure His glory, and walk in His ways.
And that’s exactly what happened with Jason.
Today, he’s a faithful church member, a devoted husband (his wife graciously forgave him and their marriage was restored!), and a follower of Christ whose life is marked by thankfulness.
Gratitude overcame his addiction, adultery, and anxiety, and continues to shape him into the image of Christ, making him useful for God’s glory.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18
